First Mother's Day

Ugh, I feel miserable. Yesterday I went to a health clinic and got tested for the flu. It came back negative, but there is a 20% false negative rate and I have a hard time believing this is just a cold. I got a flu shot, but, in Houston, there is a major strain that wasn't included in the flu shot. They gave me Tamiflu anyway since I had all the symptoms of flu and a 6 month old.

Andrew is very congested, but they said that, unless he develops a high fever or starts wheezing, there is nothing to do. We're using the humidifier at night and that seems to help him. He did wheeze once last night before we ran the humidifier, and Jim and I looked at each other in panic. It was just that once, though. I'm so scared that Andrew is going to end up in the hospital. I think part of my nerves is being sick, which always gets me over-scared about nothing, but I feel like I could panic at the slightest sign of problem. All I heard about when we brought him home was how bad it would be if he got a major illness, and now I've brought one home. Add to that the panic about swine flu, and I can't relax. He's still his happy self, though.

I don't know which is worse, feeling like I'm on death watch with an overall healthy baby, or dealing with the symptoms myself while caring for him. At least it hit on Saturday afternoon so Jim could get his chores done Saturday morning and care for Andrew the rest of the weekend. Then, the babysitter agreed to take him today so I can get more rest. The only thing that seems to help is the maximum dosage of benedryl, but that knocks me out so I can't take it when I'm alone with the baby. I'm hoping that the Tamiflu works and the symptoms are largely gone by tomorrow morning. Jim wasn't feeling well himself, so I would not be surprised if he was home sick later this week. He has an amazing immune system, but so did I pre-baby, and he's been under so much stress lately.

Anyway, my first mother's day started out miserable. The worst part was missing Mass. I bet, if you were to ask a bunch of Christian infertile women, "What is the most painful part about mother's day?", they would answer, "Church". This year, though, I was so looking forward to it! I finally got my chance to be happy about it, but I was too afraid of making others sick. If it wasn't for the swine flu panic I might have risked it, but it just wouldn't be right:-(

The day ended well, though. Jim took great care of Andrew yesterday, keeping track of his day without me having to think about it at all. I got a nice long nap while Jim was at church, and then he made a delicious dinner and baked me a cake--yup, my chef bakes, too:-) He sat through my favorite movie without a single complaint. (He liked August Rush well enough the first time, but it lost its appeal after so many viewings, LOL) Then, best of all, he got me a gorgeous Swarovski jewelry set as a total splurge. Trying that on in the mirror was enough to help me forget about my sore throat for a minute:-D