Separation Anxiety

Well, it finally happened. I hope this doesn't make me sound like a monster, but it was the first time that I was relieved to see my baby cry.

Last night, I had insomnia and I felt like the devil was on my back. I had all these worries about Andrew, mostly about how he isn't cuddly, and wondering why he wasn't the slightest bit upset when I left him with his babysitter. Was this an adoption issue? Did he not like me? Has he not attached to me? I knew it was just satan messing with my head, but I still couldn't sleep.

Well, this weekend he had started throwing mild temper-tantrums when I took something away from him, like a toy or a finished bottle. Then, today, when I left him with the sitter, he threw the same type of tantrum. At least I rate up there with his favorite toy, LOL! Part of it was him just waking up from a nap, and part of it was because he was hungry, two situations that have always provoked tears. I told him I loved him and made a quick getaway so that he could calm down and she could feed him. The books all say that babies usually only cry while they can still see their parent, and it's for show for the parent, like any tantrum. The baby calms down once they realize they won't get what they want. Plus, each time I come back at the end of the day to pick him up, the sooner he'll come to trust me to always return for him. It's the beginning of him growing up.

I've heard that this stage can be heartrending, but it is also a sign of secure attachment. I'm glad that my midnight worries were unfounded!